First term examination (Day Five)

Sejarah paper one and two were the last papers that u had to endure today before the clock strikes twelve.

Paper one was objective so it was okay. Paper two was subjective. Faham-faham lah :p

But, I don't care! The holiday is hereand it's the time for me to relax. Tomorrow I will be going to Bukit Tinggi with my family. Horse riding, oh joy!

Well, nothing much for now. I'm just glad the exam is over for now.

Have a good evening :)

First term examination (Day Four)

Chemistry was okay.

For English, I had to write two essays. I know I could do better provided a longer time.

ICT. Hantam saja. Hahah

During ICT exam, Sue Anne fell off her chair all of a sudden. I swear there was no thunder or tornado. She just fell. Ryan laughed like a girl. Which made me laugh too. It's a neuron thing. When people laugh, we laugh. When people yawn, we yawn. Yeahh

Tomorrow will be the last day of exam! Woopeee! I can't wait til the clock strikes 12 noon. I'm already feeling giddy so it's no surprise if I squeal like a snobby bitch the minute I hand out my answer sheet to the invigilator. Heh

I have not the mood to study right now. It's fifteen minutes to ten and I'm already sleepy! So should I sleep or should I keep on reading History?


(Thinking)

(Rubbing eyes)


Yes I think I should sleep =)

First term examination (Day Three)

Status: In holiday mood. :)

Today was okaaayyy. Physics was ookkaaayyy. Agama tooo. Hahah

Laugh quite a lot today because of Rebekah's crazyness and highness. And I've realised that almost every exam paper, she would sneeze. Sneeze like a cute little chipmunk! Seriously. It has never fail to make me giggle and not to mention that I had to control it until my tummy hurts. Well, that's chippy! =D

I so can't wait for this coming two week holiday! I can clear my mind from worries. I don't have to think of anything that has got to do with school work. I got a feeling. That I'll have a good holiday!

Time to go
to study
(to bed)

=b

First term examination (Day Two)

I did freaking ass math, bloody English and shitty maths.

Actually, all three papers are quite easy. I am confident that I could get A, or at least B for each of those paper. My add maths teacher had marked the paper and I'm satisfied with my add math result. Which is 90%. I didn't get to see my paper but a friend of mine saw it. :)

After the exams, I felt so sleepy and tired (I am still sleepy and tired). Unfortunately I can't go back home straight away because I had money wise club to attend. I learned about inflation. Plus, we did a little auction. The prize was an mp3 player. I figured I don't need it so I gave a chance to the others. The money reached until 12,000MTC. Of course it's not real money. Avin, a 12 year old boy, I think, wasted his money and got the mp3 player. Next term, there will be more auctions so I am saving my money to use it in the future. Smart eyh? Heh

I had chocolate sundae cornetto on my way home. Yumm. At five just now I had piano lesson. (Sumpah aku lemah gila tak ada semangat!) I am quite disappointed with myself now because I am not playing as good as I use to. And I'm mad at myself for being tone deaf! I can't freaking differentiate between chords V and V7!! And many chords more. Heck, I can't even tell what the chords were if teacher didn't paly the tonic. Argh. And do you know how to spell 'argh'? It's A-R-H-PHLEGM =D Good joke, mr. Lee!

Oh this coming school holiday my family and I will be going to a place near Genting Highlands that has horse riding. (: I am definitely looking forward to it.


I think I shall be limp now.

First term examination (Day One)

Hello bloggers :)

Today I woke up knowing that there would be BM and Biology exams. I didn't feel nervous or anxious or whatsoever. Nonetheless, I gave a silent prayer to God before answering the questions. Bm paper one was too much. A little too much. I didn't have the time to complete it properly. Biology was suffocating. It was a two and half hours paper. It wasn't easy. So I felt a little queesy most of the time. BM paper two contained only one essay which was okay.

After school, parents of form 4S students came to school for a meeting with the teachers. According to mama, the teachers weren't being specific during the discussion. And they talked about the teaching of physics by the physics teacher. Most of them complained so I hope something will be done about that. Oh and pn lee suggested that we join the reaching for the stars programme. For me, mama would want me to join the public speaking, confidence boosting programme. There are a number of programme. One or two lies on my birth date. So I am urging and pleading my classmates to please not choose the ones that lies on the 9th of June in case if I will be having a birthday bash. Thank you :)

That's all for today. I better continue with my revision on mathematics. I hope I'll do well tomorrow.

Goodbloodynight.

Losing interest = Losing one's self

I have breathed the air surrounding the earth, trodden the land that covers the earth and seen the beauty and disasters on this earth for fifteen years and nine months. And I am already tired. Tired of living. Just tired.

It is official - I don't like school. For years I have tried so hard to force my heart and myself to like school and persuade them that eventually everything would be okay. But it has not been okay. Don't get me wrong, I value education but school is just not the place for me to learn. And after about nine years of schooling, I just realised that. In my previous school, I had issues. And I thought by moving to a "better" school, or perhaps we can say it as running away, all the issues would go away. I was afraid that it won't go away when I changed school. Yes, it didn't go away. I still feel the same. It seems that I can't avoid problems, I have no choice but to solve it. I don't know how. I don't know what to do anymore. I also feel that my studies isn't doing any better either.


I think all I need is a friend. I do have tons of friends, well maybe less than that, but I need a friend, friend. You know. Oh well you don't. Nevermind.


And I am also losing interest in almost everything else. I don't play the piano that much like I used to, blame it on school. I lost interest in popping my eyes out to "search" for a handsome guy, perhaps I gave up on that. I gave up on pleasing people and being friendly so that I become the centre of attention. Clearly, I am not born to do that.

I think the things that havn't changed much are my self esteem and my laziness. Yeah. I still talk when needed only. I guess.

Oh well, I have to keep living as long as my heart is beating. The funny thing is people make quotes about life and all that bullshit and I believed those stuff, but now I think they are mostly all pointless at this point in my life. Wow I thought teenage years should be FUN. It's not. In fact, teenage life is all about hard work so as to secure your adulthood because teenage life is somehow a bridge. Like if the bridge is built magnificently, u would go to the other side with pride and some sweat. Otherwise, you would just fall.

So, I guess I sort of know how my bridge is like. Sort of.

Laugh Out Loud (LOL) / Ketawa Dengan Kuat (KDK)

I've managed to live through this day with an obvious white pimple on my cheek.

I woke up today feeling a stiff aching at the area of my neck. I started to think it as an excuse to not go to school. But eventually, I got up and went to school.

I realised that almost every week, when the weekend is nigh, my mood becomes happier. I guess that my mind knows that I'll be able to rest soon and to be happy about it. So today, biology and physics classes were kind of understandable. Though in physics my face showed abhorrence at times. During English, teacher warned us to not be late in class. I dare say I am infrequently tardy but because I had to wait for my classmates, I was considered late also.

During lunch I ate lasagna! Yumm. I've had not eaten that for quite some time before today. And I was surprised that I finished my meal early. Perhaps it's because we went out early or there wasn't any interruption during lunch.

After lunch was BM. It was a horrid period. I went to the class five minutes before lunch ended. I prepared my books and thought of filling up my bottle. So I did, while waitin for chen yan to catch up and go to the toilet with her. As we were about to enter, I think at some pointthe bell rang. So we went to the loo for a few minutes and as we pass by BM class, we saw most of our classmates inside and Hazik outside. I knew something was wrong. Even Linda (form five) said that Mr. S was in a bad mood. So chen yan and I literally ran to get our books on the locker and went to stand outside the class. Yes, the door was locked. Purposefully. To make the situation more 'exciting', Danish saw me. He was in cloud nine when he saw me standing outside the class. He danced, yes danced, and kept chanting, "haha! It's in the blood!". -.- . Then, not long after, Sue Anne came running from God knows where. She quickly took her books. Finally the teacher let us in. He was in an awful hell of a mood. A minute soon after, Amalina, Catherine and Naim came. They were locked outside for a while too. I soon found out that they were from the pondok, hanging out since lunch. Mr. S was being so rude to us. He even called Joseph "tambi" in a rude tone. And when he commented on my usage of correction tape, he said to bring a tonne of it to make it easier. Hell, if you don't want me to use it, just say so! Don't go and create a freakin metaphor and make me feel menyampah gila tahap GILA! Man, teachers these days are crazy and insisting. Not to mention pushy and fussy too. And sarcastic. Please, someone bring me to a spa or at least to a place where I can scream.

Okay now talk about my sister. She slept in the evening and so during dinner she ate with her eyes closed. Of course, my maid had to feed her. Yes, hanna and al if you guys are reading this, she is still very much dependent on the maid. To see my sister behaving like a _(fill in the blank yourself)_, makes me feel bad that as if I didn't do the part as a big sister. Well hell she's just a stubborn wench, what else can I do?

Oh by the way, first term exam will be next week on Thursday. Just awesome. -_-

On the bright side there will be a two week holiday after the exam. Anyone up to see movies or go karaoke-ing? :)

Eenie meenie miney mo lover

HAHA I laughed Reading Aliyyah's blog about Hanna and Wan's 200 pictures. Poor Aliyyah. And I feel just a bit guilty because I took those pictures. Hehe. By the way Aliyyah, you better do me a birthday card when I reach the age of sixteen! =P

About school, I think I am still not so used to the environment. Not that the place is uncomfortable or nasty, it's the people. I find that I have to use a lot of my energy to even think of a topic to talk. Usually in my previous school it comes naturally (comes naturally - seleba gomez's song) and I know my friends since primary so it's not a difficulty to gossip or kutuk or whatever private stuff I can think of to talk. Here, I have to watch my words, align them carefully because they might not know what I meant, compared to my old friends they know what I'm trying to say even though I did not speak a single word (kan hanna?). Moreover, I'm a late bloomer, slow person and an introvert so it's hard for me. I an the type that speaks second. Someone has to lead or guide me first before I can really stand firm.

Sean Kingston ft justin bieber's song "eenie meenie miney mo lover" kept repeating on the radio. At first when the song was introduced to me by Jasfaizi, I didn't like it. Though I did like the melody. And now I've searched the lyrics and understand it, it's exactly like how I feel about certain boys, except this song is referring to certain girls. And the song is catchy. I hate and like catchy songs. But I still don't like guy singers saying girls a "shawty" or a "chick". Sounds like that girl is cheap. Maybe those words just suits in the particular song so they can't help it.

I really do need to stick to the things I love doing most so that I do not lose myself. Horse riding and creating music.

Don't forget.

Oh Mak!

I'm gonna do this real quick so here goes.

I was so happy on Saturday because I got to see my best friends Hanna and Aliyyah with their respective boyfriends, Wan and Khairol at Aliyyah's house. I finally saw aliyyah's PINK bedroom. It's pretty and neat. Suits her character well. So as normal, we talked, took pictures, ate and just enjoying each other's company. We watched Zombieland too. The movie was so disgusting, lots of blood. It's stupid and funny and stupid. So yeah. Oh at some point I was so bored because they were with their significant other so apa lagi, facebook je lah. Then, ajar aliya chemistry. Hehe. After hanna balik, the rest of us photoshoot gila gila lah. Hahah. It was fun. :D

Yesterday I had to finish up all my homework before five in the evening because at six my family and I went to send my brother to his college - he has a field trip to Kelantan - and after that went to auntie mek and uncle razif's house to see their new baby girl. She was so cute and chubby and just so cute. :). The food they served was chicken rice. Yumm.

Today I had a hard time waking up in the morning. My eyes just couldn't open on time. I was - and still am - tired. I stayed silent most of the day (aren't I always?) and stayed focus on my studies. Oh speaking of, I HATE physics and the teacher. Memang aku gila dah bengang lah. Amalina said that she don't understand physics and that bloody man said that we don't give physics a chance or smething like that. And I was like, HELL, I really did try to pay attention but the way you teach, I just can't comprehend! We are not university students okay so stop teaching us the way lecturers do. Sakit hati betul sampai nak nangis tau tak. Oh but nobody knows. Nevermind.

My scholastic books arrived today. Eight of them. Two books are still not in my hands. I love the way books make me smile. Oh how I wish a person could do that to me too. See how sad my life is. Oh well. What to do. I am the unsociable geek. Can't help it. Sorry.

Well I have to take off my contact lenses and finish up my homework now. Goodday.

Is today yesterday's tomorrow, Or tomorrow's yesterday?

Before I tell about today, let's recap yesterday's activities.

I went to school feeling anxious. My mind was stuffed with words and numbers that I hoped would not disappear. First period came and it was time to sit for Add Maths test 2b. We had test 2a a week ago but we weren't fully prepared so with our - well, most of us - request, Mr. Mahen agreed to do a second test for the month. I feel that I did better than the previous because I did my revision. I hope the result won't be disappointing.

With the numbers done, my attention was focused on both BM lisan and English debate. Before recess my class and I got to see the Debat Ala Parlimen by the form fives. I'm impressed with my cousin Danish as he was undoubtedly outstanding among the others. He did not even referred to any piece of paper whatsoever! Why am I so different from him? Even my brother is much more socialised than I am so why do I feel so timid when it comes to public speaking?

After PE, which was after recess, comes the time where I stuttered a bit. There was a recording camera located in front of two tables. That was the place where I sat and told a news. I felt so stupid. Period.

Then, at approximately 1:15pm, I was at the auditorium, debating. The topic was Television Is A Bad Influence. I was in the opposition team with my lovely fellow friends - Sam, Chen-yan and Joseph - who I am thankful and proud of for going through this with me. This time I didn't stutter. Confidence was sort of there but not quite. I still referred to the cue cards a lot which has become a habit of mine during public speaking, which I despise doing it. I really need a hell lot of practice if I were to talk boldly and confidently.

For now, thank God it was over.

-------

Today, I felt exhausted. I was already very sleepy last night due to a lot of exercising physically and mentally. I screamed in the pillow and then cried myself to sleep. This morning before going to school I said to myself, it's going to be a bad day. During the morning assembly... I am not going to talk about it to prevent any violent cursing here. Moving on, during English class, Mrs. Deeba expressed her disappointment about the debate yesterday. Turns out we did not do well and I have to admit that I feel it boring as well. I think it's mainly because the proposition team did not give much points for us (Sam especially) to oppose to. I really thought the proposition team will stand out because of the strong speaking team members. But, quite thankfully, they did not. Mrs. Deeba also told is the comments made by the judges, which were mostly "it's a poor debate". But Joseph has the least comments (or was it no comment?) which mrs. Deeba thinks that he might get an award for best speaker, if there will even be an award for that. According to the judges sam and I are to be trained as the school's speaker. At that, I was shocked. The judges commented me that I was depending too much on the bloody cue cards and now they want to train me? Are you freakin serious? But at the same time I was kind of flattered because I know there's a reason to this and I take the reasons as hidden compliment.

During lunch time today, it was the form fives turn to debate. Their topic was about Girls and Boys, who's better. I came a little late I didn't get to hear the fort speakers. At first it ws okay and normal, and then in the middle it spiced up a bit. When it comes for Danish to speak as the fourth opposition speaker, BAM! the girls team was like a fly smashed by a fist. I was really amazed by his way of speaking and directing his points like bullets, killing the girls team hands down! Yesterday, I was impressed with Danish's way of debating. Today, I admire and envy his way of public speaking. I know, it's crazy of me to compliment him so much, too much. But I can't help it right now.

After school, emily, mingzhi, sam, chen-yan and I went to the science lab to complete two experiments. During biology class we didn't get to finish the experiment so we diligent nerds agreed to stay back. When we got to the lab, the teacher wasn't there so the lab assisstant, Kak Yun, assissted us throughout the experiment. We divided into two groups so that we can finish both quickly. Emily, mingzhi and I did the startch and saliva experiment while the other two did the pH level thingy experiment. Guess who's saliva we used for the first experiment? Mine. I can't believe I had to sacrifice my saliva, twice this day, for an experiment. Oh well, to be a successful person, sacrifices must be made. We actually had fun doing the experiment. We took pictures too, of course, since it's after school. Then I thought, BIOLOGY IS FUN WITHOUT THE TEACHER! It's true. We've proved it. =D

Whoever was reading this, probably has fallen asleep. So I shall stop my blabbering of my life. This is why I sometimes don't like blogging, when I'm so into story telling my life, time is wasted, and now I am hungry.

I can't wait for Saturday! No fret hanna and al, I'll be with you girls soon! <3

Challenge

I feel like I want to die or at least disappear but at the same time I'm not intending to fall sick. I'm not going to dissapoint anyone. I must not.

Tomorrow will be a 'heavy' day. Wednesday. I will have add maths test on the first period, news casting/oral for bm after break and English debate during lunch. Doubts started flooding my mind. What if's are the first two words in every question of the doubt. And "I will die" answers every question.

I really want to know how far I could do with this public speaking and how brave I am. All I know now is that I've been a coward and unspontaneous. I hope with the debate and everythingsall I could boost my confidence level and also my speaking technique. But if it's not productive then I have no idea what else to do.

So farewell now. May I rest in peace.

Language Week

Hello. Assalamualaikum. Vanakam. Anyong haseyo. Ola. Bon jour. Sawadikaaaa. Etc.

I've witnessed the launching of the Language Week in school today. It wasn't all that grand. There was a slideshow where it showed the activities that we SST students will be doing this week. There was a song accompanying the slideshow which feels sort of like being in Hogwarts all of a sudden. However, the music stopped halfway -.- . So the principal gave a short speech and tadaaa the language week was launch. No cutting ribbons whatsoever.

So the form fours will be doing a debate for English and read news for bahasa melayu, both on Wednesday. Come to think of it, Wednesday is always a tough day. Just now during English class before dismissal time, we practiced the debate but with a different topic. I kind of panic n was in a blur when it was my turn. Well, don't blame me, blame my father's genes. God, I really need confidence and be brave to speak up! The thing is, I know what I should say, I know some awesome words on my mind due to plenty of reading (currently reading Elizabeth Gaskell's North and South) but when I started to speak, it all jumbled up in my mind and nothing came out in order. Yes I admit I have a slow brain. But that is certainly not an excuse. I am typing this now spontaneously but why cant I speak spontaneously too? I think that I can only think properly first before speaking or else my mouth will be in confusion. At this point I figured, I really need a close friend in school to talk about anything so that I'll be comfortable talking with other people in other occasions too. But who? I treat them all the same, as family (and clearly I'm the least favourable among them if there is ever a group activity). So. Yeah. I need a friend. In school. In class. Right now.

I am weak in Physics. I've concentrated in class but when it comes to doing exercises, I just can't do it. I think it's the way of the teacher's teaching. I need time to really understand it but there is absolutley no time. If only the teacher taught the class well then perhaps this feeling of disdain and abhorrence upon this subject would not occur.

Speaking of, I must finish up the exercises. Now.

First post of the year 2010

Hi. It's been a very long time since I've blogged. Berzaman kot. I'm not gonna type good English here cos nak cepat n all. So bear with me yah. Al n hanna dah suruh post something cos now I am in Sri Tenby and I have my iPhone cos thank God dapat 8A in PMR. I achieved my dreams after all didn't I? :)

Life in Tenby is a freakin rollercoaster ride. Some of my classmates dah mengadu tak tahan n all. I was like deal with it people! But of course I didn't say that out loud. Hehe. Boys, not many cute ones but there are a few. Not gonna talk that in public thank you very the muchooo. I miss hanna n al. They are like the bomb! It's okay, I'll meet them really really soon. Homework memang gila belambak lah. Exam rasa macam hari2 ada. There are a hell lot of activities, some are irrelevent and some are fun. Well, it's school what do u expect right? Oh well.

Allow me to introduce the mighty form 4S students. *clears throat*. Sue anne, Amalina, sam, catherine, Nathashah, chen yan, emily, Ming zhi, jia hui, Rebekah, Joseph, Ryan, Dominic, Yi Zhe, zheng xian, naim and hazik. They are ohana. Meaning family. They are unique people and not to mention crazy too! I love them already. Hehe. :)

What else? oh I'm a student councillor. :). Dont know what that is? Search in google :D

Even though I'm in a private school, I'm still the same person: quiet, smart, nerdy, good, but when it comes to certain stuff that concerns me, I'll stand my ground and say what's right. Plus I still love to eat. And I love music. And horse riding. Hee

Well I gotta stop now to finish up my homewrok (although it can never be done). I have to admit I'm kinda addicted to Facebook because it's easily accessible through my iPhone.

I wonder if there's a rehab for social networking addiction?